So, while revising Psychology today I came across a theory which makes a lot of sense. It's called the labelling theory. Basically a guy called Scheff said that when we give someone a label people are more likely to change their behaviour so they live up to that label.
In the midst of my revision this got me thinking. So often we are trying to live up to labels that people place on us.
We try to be that 'best friend', the one who is always there, who listens all the time, who never slips up, who never gets cross, who always encourages. And when we fall flat on our faces and aren't thee ultimate best friend, we feel like failures.
We try to be 'a leader', the one who can organise things, who everyone relies on, who people trust, who listens to everybody. And when we fail at this we feel like we are useless and can't be used.
We try to be the 'perfect boyfriend/girlfriend', the one who loves the other person for who they are, who makes them feel special, who knows when something is wrong, who makes them smile when no one else can. Yet when you go through a break up you begin to doubt that you are worth loving or worth caring about or whether you will ever find the one person for you if you keeping messing up.
Any of these ring any bells. I know when I can relate to these and so many more. The older I get and the more experiences I go through, I am beginning to see that we will never be able to satisfy the world and we will always feel like a failure because the devil is out to make us feel that way and make us feel like we are incapable and worthless
But guess what, we do not have to live up to any of these labels which are placed on us. We don't have to live in a world where we constantly face disappointment and feelings of uselessness. In fact God has given us "the right to become children of God." (John 1:12) Children of a King who is higher than any one else, who has the whole world in his hands.
We are told that "God sent him (Jesus) to buy freedom for us who
were slaves" (Galatians 4:5) You see the thing is when we come to be in a relationship with God and begin to know his character and what he wants for us we see that we truly have freedom. He has taken away the "sin which so easily entangles" us and in return has given us freedom and we no longer have to live up to those labels which the world places on our shoulders.
Also, instead of feeling worthless when we slip up and don't live up to these labels, God tells us how much worth we actually have.
"Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you more valuable to him than they are?" (Matthew 6:26) - Here we can see that God sees us as valuable, more valuable to him than any other creature he has made. We were made in his image and we are worth something to him. He has a plan for all of us and he wants what is best for us. He "works for the good of those who love him" (Romans 8:28). And whether you believe it or not he can use you, no one is useless to him.
"That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Corinthians 12:10) - In fact in our times of weakness is when God shows his strength. When we are at our lowest and the world is telling us that we are useless, that we have nothing to give, that is when God will step in and give us a strength that is beyond imaginable.
He can use you, if you let him and ask him to.
So yes, I do not know what you are going through right now. Maybe you feel like you can't do anything for anyone, that you are useless, and you always slip up. Well I hope this blog has helped you to see that God can and will use you. He wants you to run to him so that he can use our weaknesses and flaws to bring glory to his Kingdom. You don't have to be a slave to the labels which you are given. You don;t have to pretend to be someone else that you really aren't because labels cannot define you as a person. They aren't your identity if you are in Christ. Christ is you identity.
Hopefully this has encouraged you and feel free to drop me a message if you have any questions (I don't promise to have the answers to them all but I will try!)
Wrote with love,
Jemma.
